


Newton's laws of motion

by Eggspelliarmus



Category: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them (Movies)
Genre: Abusive uses of Physics laws, Cinnamon Roll Newt Scamander, Jealous Percival Graves, M/M, Mutual Pining, Queenie is playing matchmaking, everyone is tired of gramander's mutual pining, possessive Percival Graves
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-01
Updated: 2017-01-01
Packaged: 2018-09-13 22:48:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,131
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9145555
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eggspelliarmus/pseuds/Eggspelliarmus
Summary: Queenie huffed and rolled her eyes, as Percival Graves peeked out from behind the blinds hung over the window of his office for the 36th time in the past hour, just to stare at an obnoxious magizoologist.Different from her sister, who was keener on letting the two idiots to resolve their sexual tension by themselves instead of playing matchmakers, Queenie had another plan in mind.Or in short:  Queenie Goldstein played matchmakers which involved a Physics textbook and three mechanics laws (ironically) invented by Issac Newton, after she was fed up with those two idiots' mutual pining.Despite making Graves jealous by telling him that Newt was on a date and finding another auror to undress Newt right under the nose of the director, and asking Newt to seduce （albeit unintentionally）the director by licking a lolly erotically, Graves does not seem to find wooing the magizoologist to be of a dire need.





	

Queenie huffed and rolled her eyes, as Percival Graves peeked out from behind the blinds hung over the window of his office for the 36th time in the past hour, just to stare at an oblivious magizoologist who was gleefully discussing his new discovery on the application of the shed skin of runespoor in potions with the Goldstein sisters. Tina, as believed by Queenie, was either also obnoxious to Graves’

Tina, as believed by Queenie, was either also obnoxious to Graves’ staring or too fed up with this “ _human wooing ritual (Percival Graves’ special edition)_ ” to do anything about it – probably the latter, as she could spot her sister rolling her eyes when her boss peeked out very unsubtly for the 37th time. Despite his not-so-subtleness, Newt still appeared to be completely unaware of the director's intense and heated staring, grinning widely as Tina nodded to his words, signalling him that she was listening with all her ears, making the magizoologist's heart fluttered in delight.

  
Different from her sister, who was keener on letting the two idiots to resolve their sexual tension by themselves instead of muddling in between and playing matchmaker, Queenie had another plan in mind. She felt obliged to do something about it; especially after she had heard Newt whining about his pathetic pining for Graves the previous night after the poor magizoologist was too intoxicated to understand what he was confessing. (A result of testing a new species of herbs he recently found on a mountain range on a remote island north of Scotland where many dragons resided on, which seemed to contain a high concentration of ethanol. Anyway, that was another story.)

  
In addition to the fact that the sexual tension between the two idiots were too strong for literally everyone else present in the office to withstand （"If Graves would only stop undressing Newt with his eyes so unsubtly I could have done my report faster," Queenie swore that she had heard Auror Tristan Kane muttered beneath his breath right after Graves yelled at him to do his work faster. She was sympathetic for the man, as he was seated right between Graves' office and Tina's seat, so whenever a certain director felt an urge to stare at Newt intensely, he would unintentionally stare at Auror Kane as well, causing the poor man to become faily distraught and uneasy.） and she was too fed up with them dancing around each other not to do anything at all, she also wanted to see Newt smile – the blonde witch was aware of how happy someone could become once they were in love – after all, she had experienced it firsthand. Queenie giggled at the thought of Jacob trying to tell her sweet little nothings during her first date. 

Queenie had been reading Jacob’s books recently, a habit that she has picked up since she visited the no-maj's home above his beloved bakery for the first time - a nice cozy place which he had purchased along with the bakery using occamy eggs. The witch was amazed by the amount of no-maj books Jacob seemed to have retained from his school days, as sit had never occurred to her that Jacob could be the bookish type of person, and was fascinated by the no-maj subject science, particularly Physics.

  
Contrary to non-magical people’s belief, in which magic was considered to be blasphemy or old wives’ tales by no-maj, witches and wizards instead deemed science as their own version of old wives’ tales. No-maj was trying so hard to explain the unimaginable that they have formulated thousands of theories and equations when the phenomenon could be simply explained by one word, “magic”. Science, according to magical people, could only be plain nonsense and even Nobel Prize winning theories were discarded by witches and wizards as rubbish, let alone teaching science as wizarding schools. As a result, Queenie had never have the chance of knowing any science theories beforehand, as she grew up in a wizarding family and spent her childhood in a wizarding school, even though she was aware of the existence of science in the no-maj world.  
Brought up with the ideology that science was blasphemy, she initially picked up Jacob’s Physics textbook as a joke so she could spend her leisure time laughing at the no-maj’s excessive thinking into explaining the unknown and the unimaginable, not knowing that she would ended up being fascinated by the theories found inside it, particularly the law of conservation of energy.

  
Queenie was secretly amazed by the law, as she always knew that magical power in wizards and witches could not be created – it was from the first lesson they had learnt in the history of magic in Ilvermorny, a lesson that nobody would pay attention in originally, but Queenie, excited by finally being able to attend Ilvermorny after hearing about it so much from Tina, paid extra attention to everything on her first day - they were born with those power after all, as passed down from their parents also with magical blood; nor it could be destroyed – once a spell, say, a confringo, was casted on the desired object, the magical power in the caster was only converted to mechanical power to break the object under the spell, and was never destroyed. She would never tell other wizards or witches, as science was always a matter being looked down upon by the wizarding world collectively, but she was actually awed by the cleverness of no-maj scientists, and she started to think that Physics could be applied to everything in this world.

_Newton’s first law of motion:_  
_An object at rest tends to stay at rest or in uniform motion, if the net force acting on it is zero._

Take Graves as an example. Without an external force acting on him, the man was very unlikely to start pursing Newt’s heart– so he was equal to an object currently staying at rest. Queenie smirked at the line of theory – a cunning smirk that Newt often shuddered at whenever he saw it appearing on Queenie’s pretty face and said it somehow reminded him of a Slytherin- as a plan started to came into being in her head. The younger Goldstein would make Graves jealous by misleading him to believe the magizoologist was seeing someone, and this would definitely exert a force on him, driving him to woo Newt out of jealousy – he was a very possessive man, after all.

**Operation Newton's first law initiated.**

“I thought Newt said he was dropping by today?” Tina raised her brows at the sight of her sister approaching her desk in the office of the Department of Magical Security alone, somehow a bad feeling arose from deep down her heart as she spotted the smirk plastered on her younger sister’s face.

  
“No, he is quite busy now, if I remember the time correctly,” Queenie answered, her smile widened as she saw Graves, who was walking past them, slowed down his pace in order to eavesdrop on their conversation regarding a certain magizoologist, “Newt is, currently, on a date.”

  
She glanced at Graves rather discreetly when Tina was not looking at her, her eyes fixed on the report on a couple of no-maj magical sightings in downtown Manhattan. The blonde was in fact quite pleased to discover that Graves’ brow twitched agitatedly at the word “date” especially when the word came together with the name “Newt” . The director’s brow furrowed into a tiny frown, but was immediately wiped away after a matter of seconds, back to his neutral expression. Graves sped up; returning to his normal pace after the conversation about Newt was over, only the scribbling of Tina’s quilt and the clacking of Graves’ boot could be heard in the quiet office, occasionally interrupted by Auror Augustus Culburn's bored yawns.

  
Doing a gleeful little dance mentally, Queenie thought she was a step closer than before. She believed that, Graves might come to the realization that someone would eventually try to win Newt’s heart if he would not do anything first, and now a force must have been exerted on the stubborn director.

Well, or not.

The next time Newt paid a visit to the office of the Department of Magical Security, Graves did not even attempt to do anything at all. He continued sitting in his office and would not stop his constant staring at Newt, but his glare seemed to be more intense than before. Despite that, he did not approach Newt nor did he try to do anything other than secretly pinning for the magizoologist.

**Operation Newton’s first law failed.**

 

 

_Newton’s second law of motion:_  
_The acceleration of an object is in the same direction as the net force acting on it. It is directly proportional to net force and is inversely proportional to the object’s mass._  
_i.e. F ∝ a_

  
In short, the acceleration of Graves in terms of wooing Newt is directly proportional to the force exerted on him. The jealousy as a result of knowing his love interest was seeing someone must had too little of a force on him, Queenie thought to herself secretly, a larger force must be exerted to set the director into motion so the two pining idiots could end up together.

  
This time, she had the help of Auror Harley Phan, who was more fed up with the duo’s tactics than Queenie, as Graves constantly glared at him whenever he was flirting with a pretty girl, scaring all of his possible love interests away from the office of the Department of Magical Security, a (in fact unintentional) action done probably out of the agitation that he was unable to win Newt’s heart.

  
**Operation Newton’s Second Law initiated.**

Queenie winked at Auror Phan as she was welcomed by the sight of Newt being in the office hanging out around Tina’s seat the first thing she entered the office of the Department of Magical Security, the magizoologist was introducing his new fire crab to his best friend.

  
“Meet Sarah, she was just born two days ago,” Newt looked at the baby fire crab residing in his palms and smiled, “Isn’t she the sweetest thing ever? You remember Cara and Pete? They are little Sarah’s parents.”

  
Tina peered at the new born fire crab with interest, as Queenie marched up to the duo with a cup of freshly conjured tea in one hand, and signaling Auror Phan to come over with the other.

  
Auror Phan stood up abruptly and rushed towards Queenie, who was currently standing next to Newt, ready to serve her friend with some nice and lovely tea, intentionally knocking Queenie over, the cup of tea spilling all over Newt. Amidst the chaos, Queenie quickly grabbed Newt’s wand, sticking out from his blue coat pocket, and randomly tossed it under Tina’s desk, behind the mountain of reports and papers.

  
“Oh I am terribly sorry!” faking an equally shocked and apologetic expression, Auror Phan quickly apologized, “My, my, I am such a klutz!”

  
“It-it’s ok,” Newt replied, a blush rising on his face as he was not used to talking to strangers, “I can scourgify it.”

  
The magizoologist fished in his coat pockets for his wand, but it was nowhere to be seen. Frowning, Newt started digging up the pockets from his trousers in confusion. Where was his wand again?

  
“Ah, let me use the traditional method of cleaning instead,” Auror Phan replied, as he reached out to pull off his slightly stained blue coat, before unbuttoning the magizoologist’s white shirt, dripping chamomile tea and stained brown. Newt’s eyes widened at the other man unbuttoning his clothes, but he would not resist his action, for he thought rejecting the other man’s warm and apologetic gesture was a very impolite thing to do.

  
“Um…Auror Phan,” Newt looked up and saw the male auror’s shadow loaming over his face, his handsome features dangerously close to his face. He felt his face heating up, as the man’s warm breath tickled his freckled nose, indicating how close their faces were to each other.

  
Auror Phan was half-way through unbuttoning Newt’s white shirt when a non-verbal spell hit Newt, instantly removing all stains on the white button-up and drying all both his coat and shirt. Another spell hit him right after the first spell was over, which helped him to dress up automatically, straightening his ruffled collar during the process as well. With hands still attached to Newt’s cleaned button-up, Auror Phan took a quick glimpse at the direction where the spells were from, and froze at the sight of a clearly angered Percival Graves staring right at his hands on Newt’s clothes.

 

He immediately drew back his hands, and escaped back to his seat, pretending that nothing had happened just now.

  
Queenie was half-expecting Graves to come over and confess his undying love for the magizoologist like from one of the romance films that Jacob had showed her, but no, Graves just turned around and re-entered his office, a frown found on his handsome and dark features.

  
**Operation Newton’s Second Law failed.**

_Newton’s Third Law of motion:_  
_Force exists in pairs. There is a force of the same magnitude acting in opposite directions on two different objects._

  
Queenie’s interpretation to this law was that: when Newt started acting intimate towards Graves, the same would happen onto Newt from Graves, of the degree of intimacy.

  
So Queenie’s current job was to convince Newt to seduce Graves – which was definitely harder than getting all Os in the American equivalent of N.E.W.T.s in Queenie’s point of view – but she reckoned that it was worth a shot anyway.

“Queenie, you don’t understand,” Newt appeared exasperated at Queenie’s suggestions, “There is no way I am going to seduce Graves, not without making a fool of myself. He doesn’t even like me anyway – the whole thing is pointless, don’t you see.”

  
Queenie shrugged, as she had already been expecting Newt to reject her suggestions, so she decided to play along and switch to plan B.

  
“Well, nevermind,” she smiled at Newt, who was coaxing Pickett to come back to his family in the case, but the equally stubborn bowtruckle just booed at him and quickly hid in the magizoologist’s coat pocket, as Newt sighed in defeat, “After tending all of your animals, let’s grab something iced and cold before we pick up Tina for dinner, shall we?”

  
Newt hummed in response, did not even bother to look at Queenie as he did, completely missing the devious grin on the blonde’s pretty face.

Newt was nibbling on the tip of the mango-flavored lolly when the duo set foot into the nearly empty office of the Department of Magical Security, most of the workers had left already, with only Tina and Graves left in the large office. Upon seeing her sister and her best friend, Tina yelled at the two to give her a minute to clean up her desk before they could go home for dinner.

  
Seeing that Newt was momentarily distracted by Tina, Queenie quickly casted a wandless hot-air charm at Newt’s lolly, only stopping until she saw liquid dripping from the bottom of the lolly onto Newt’s navy blue coat.

 

“Oh Newt, you’d better eat faster. Your lolly is melting,” Queenie exclaimed, “You should lick the dripping liquid away, I think.”

  
Clumsily lifting the orange – almost skin-coloured – lolly up, Newt stuck out his tongue to sweep away the dripping liquid, his tongue swirling over the root of the iced deli in an unintentionally suggestive manner. Queenie could see Graves peeking out from his office, his clench on his quilt loosened, as the magizoologist sucked on the lolly. The innocent man in blue then licked the ice lolly from its root to its tip, his tongue curled around the shaft of the lolly as he swept along the iced dessert.

Queenie swore she saw Graves’ glance at Newt intensified, as the man swallowed uneasily, his now empty hand reached for something below his desk, and did an action somehow shockingly similar to that of unzipping one’s trousers.

  
“Let’s go,” Tina grabbed her coat, quickly casting a dimming spell on her lamp and marched towards the duo, momentarily blocking Newt’s seductive gesture from Graves’ view. Queenie was almost certain that Graves cursed beneath his breath when her sister blocked the magizoologist from Graves’ vision, but it was too quick for her to see, as her sister immediately pulled her closer for a side-apparation. The next thing Queenie could see was her welcoming kitchen, and Newt, who was still licking the lolly in a very sexy manner.

 

The next day, when Queenie intentionally dropped by to find her sister and Newt with the excuse of bringing the two of them some tarts during lunch time, she saw Graves again. Yet, the director appeared not to be affected by Newt’s suggestive behaviours the other day and continued pinning for the younger man behind the glass to his office. He showed absolutely no intentions of sucking the magizoologist’s length just like what the man had done to his delicious ice lolly.

 

**Operation Newton’s third law failed.**

_Newton’s fourth law of motion:_  
_There was no fourth law. Screw Physics, Queenie gritted her teeth as her carefully orchestrated and drafted plans failed over and over again._

Perhaps _Newton_ Artemis Fido Scamander deserved his own set of _Newton’s laws_ , the blonde witch thought to herself.  
Thinking of new matchmaking plans, Queenie sighed as she set foot into the office of the Department of Magical Security, but to be only greeted by a sight that she would never forget.

  
Percival Graves was pinning Newt onto the glass door to his office, kissing the magizoologist intensely as if they were in a love motel, _alone_ , instead of in a public place where thousands of witches and wizards might stumble upon them. Queenie’s lips curled into a delighted smile as she heard a small but pleased moan coming from Newt’s slightly parted mouth, only to be sealed by the director’s lips again.

  
Tina might just be right this time, Queenie shook her head in defeat, let the two pining idiots deal with their emotions themselves and everything would somehow ended up well, just like what they were doing right now.

  
Queenie had no intentions of knowing who initiated the action, nor who confessed first, as everything that she could hear from Newt’s mind was something mildly disturbing that she didn’t want to recall again.

  
And Queenie pretended that she did not see the bulge in Graves’ pants, as she gleefully made her exit, after not spotting her sister nor her co-workers anywhere.

 

_Newton’s law of wooing:_  
_There is no rule. You can woo Newton Artemis Fido Scamander as long as, well, you are called Percival Graves._

**Author's Note:**

> The interpretations of Newton's laws are actually kind of wrong  
> I was bending the interpretations to make it suitable for the story
> 
> Guys this is what happens when you absently mindedly stare at your Physics textbook and thinking of your ship when you are supposed to be studying
> 
> Thanks for reading everyone! Happy New Year :D (and season4 of Sherlock is going to be on air in less than 12 hours I am excited)  
> Please tell me how you think of this !!!


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